For this posting, you readers out there need not read if you aren't interested. It's gonna be long. So Just Leave if you are not bothered.
Maybe this would just be until here. Currently, i'm sitted outside alone thinking what could cure these aching wound that had occured to my heart yesterday. Probably, i took no notice of the pain im going through when i am around you. oh well, only time will tell how much the wound would simply get bigger just like a material undergoing fatigue. it will first have its cyclic stress moments, thus causing dislocations, forming micro cracks. Then, from the tiny holes due to the dislocations, it will grow bigger and bigger and as time goes by, it will grow big and TA-DA material fatigue. oh well, maybe i had too much dosage of class knowledge today. As much as i occupy myself to think more of school work, my mind and thoughts of you still somehow lingers. I regret not to speak what was on my mind at the point of time when i was with you. Maybe my words now will just be words. i miss you. ily. You told me before love is a strong word. Well, i'm brave enough to use it on you. Honest!
You might think i'll be repeating this words again and again in my future postings. But i think i realise the mistake i made last time. So trust me, this will just be the last one for me to pour all my words that i yearned to say. You're not to worry, there would not be any more nonsense from me. All i can do now is to love you from afar. It's gonna be painful but since im enduring it now, the pain would just be something like a routine. I know no matter how much i try to easy you off from my mind, it will forever be engrave deep within me.
Anyway, Pitsburg Open qualifying round is just around the corner. So, i have the confidence you would be affected by this but i will. I've always look forward for any Tennis Opens cause that is when we could be ourselves and no one would have the right to talk abt it.
Oh well..help me tell Nathaniel that we're through k? and please don't be too harsh on him. Promise me you will take care of him just like how you want to take care of Shermiellia, your "daughter". and if you could not tell dad about us. I will tell him. I really can't bare looking at him as a dad when i no longer have the right to call him as it is. I have to start addressing u as Mr Barker Jr. to ya? hmm..seems weird just like the beginning.
Nomatter what, i still need you. and i know i am just a nobody to be saying all this stuff to you.
Only time will tell which guy will need me. But it would be best if was you. Only then, i can safely say..My life is Complete.
a girl who once you call baby princess sue.
you know you are forever my Prince.
even if it is just a dream.
Boy , I Miss You . Girl , I Need You
Monday, September 08, 2008
